


Falling

by LittleMissCactus



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Autism, Autistic Austria, Fluff, Historical, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, honestly I need me a man like spain, projecting way too hard onto austria
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-02
Updated: 2019-08-02
Packaged: 2020-07-29 04:53:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,053
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20076463
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittleMissCactus/pseuds/LittleMissCactus
Summary: Wow, actually using my autistic Austria headcanon in a fic? It’s more likely than you think.Roderich always had mixed opinions on balls. On one hand, they were fun in small doses, but on the other, it was a surefire way to bring about one of his meltdowns... Fortunately, Antonio is always right there to pull him out of them.





	Falling

Parties were always something of an oxymoron for Roderich. The swirling blues and greens and violets of ballgowns, the scent of wine and pastries, the way the music hung in the air like sweet apples on a tree were a feast in itself for the senses. But like aforementioned apples, if not picked in their prime, they will crash to the ground eventually.

“Roderich, what are you doing in the corner by yourself?” Antonio’s rich laugh pierced through Roderich’s senses, shaking any uncertainty he may have had about the situation.

Of course, Roderich easily slipped into the role that was expected of him, as he had thousands of times before. “It’s not my fault,” he purred, wrapping his arms around Antonio’s shoulders, “I was waiting for my husband to escort me inside!”

“Well, you must forgive me for keeping you waiting,” Antonio answered without missing a beat, “I was simply making sure that everything was perfect for you.”

“No need.” Roderich leaned forward to graze his lips over Antonio’s cheek in a delicate kiss. “You simply being here is enough to make anything perfect.”

Antonio grinned at Roderich and took his hand. Roderich’s breath shuddered at the feeling of Antonio’s warm, soft hand enveloping his own wiry fingers. Too wiry, he’d always insisted. Like a scarecrow. But the way Antonio smiled at him was as if he were the most handsome man in the world.

“My, Antonio, I never knew you to be so old-fashioned. Monteverdi?” Roderich laughed airily as the string quartet started on the next piece.

“Mm, I wanted to provide a variety of styles for our guests,” Antonio said, squeezing Roderich’s hand.

Roderich sighed quietly and closed his eyes, trying to tune out the din of the room and focus on the music. Notes sprang into the air and lingered for just long enough to tease the senses before being replaced with the next. He normally loved the excitement of a string madrigal, but soon, the clattering of cutlery against plates and the sharp clangs of glasses bumping against tables soon began to fight against the bright staccato of the music.

“Roderich? Are you alright?” Was that Antonio’s voice? It was hard to tell. Every voice in the room seemed to rise to the same volume, roaring furiously in Roderich’s ears. Each footstep, each creak in the floorboards plunged into Roderich’s skull like a knife. He couldn’t breathe. His stomach turned and oh god, the smells... What was once a delicate harmony of flavours had turned into a sickly sweet wave crashing over his already heightened senses. It was too much. Everything was too much.

“For the love of god, can you quiet down?!” Roderich’s own voice rang in his ears painfully. Did he always sound so shrill? “This is a ballroom, not a barn!”

Vaguely, Roderich was aware of people glaring at him, but he couldn’t focus on any particular face. The world was spinning. He felt like he was going to keel over and die at any moment. Maybe then he could finally have some quiet.

He felt an arm settle on his waist and he tried to squirm away, the touch far too hot and sending shockwaves through his body. His cheeks grew wet and he became vaguely aware that he was crying.

“I know, I know.” Roderich could hear Antonio’s voice cutting through the chaos of the room and he clung to the sound desperately. “I’ll let go of you in a moment. I just need to get you out of here.”

Roderich nodded, pressing his palms against his closed eyes until colours danced in front of him. His glasses! Where were his glasses?! He-

“I’ve got your glasses right here. They fell off in the panic,” Antonio said gently, “Just breathe for me.”

Roderich did his best to obey, occasionally gagging as he struggled to keep his stomach in check. It would be too humiliating to bear if he threw up in front of everyone. 

Slowly, though, the attack on his senses began to die down and he became aware of the sound of crickets and the soft gurgling of a fountain. The stench of sweets had been replaced with a faintly floral scent, and the arm on his waist disappeared. He stood there in silence for a moment, clinging to himself. Eventually, he worked up the courage to open his eyes. The first thing he saw was Antonio.

“Thank... you...” Roderich breathed.

Antonio just smiled, knowing better by now than to say anything. He’d wait until Roderich was ready.

Slowly, Roderich looked around. Antonio had brought him out to the garden. He smiled a little and sat down on a rock, reaching over to run his fingers over a lily. The soft petals soothed his nerves and he sighed. He was okay. Everything was okay.

It was a few more minutes before he nodded to Antonio, silently telling him that it was safe to speak.

“Are you alright?” was the first thing out of Antonio’s mouth as he sat next to Roderich.

“I... I think so. I just need a bit more time.” Roderich sighed. “I’m... not ready for a hug yet, but could you hold my hand?”

“Of course, my love.” Antonio reached over to squeeze Roderich’s hand softly. Roderich smiled at the familiarity of it. 

“Your hand is so soft...” he mumbled. If it were anyone else, he’d be worried that it was a dumb thing to say, but Antonio had heard him say stranger things than that.

“Thank you.” Antonio smiled softly at Roderich and looked at his face carefully. “Just let me know when you’re ready to go back. I’ve got you.”

“I know. I... I appreciate it.” Roderich smiled weakly. “You’re so good to me...”

“I know.”

They both laughed, and it felt good to focus on something other than how wretched he felt. 

“Okay...” he mumbled after a few more minutes, “I... I think I’m ready.”

“Alright. If you need another break, just let me know, okay?”

“Okay. I will.”

Slowly, Roderich glided his arm around Antonio’s hips, sighing as he practically collapsed against his side. Step by step, they made their way back into the ballroom. It would be a long night, but with Antonio there to keep him safe, Roderich knew that he would survive it.


End file.
